Boris the Spider

Here is a picture of Boris. Boris is a wolf spider. Dave discovered him on February 16th in the house. I arrived on the 21st. You would think that he would have been able to escort him outside in 5 days, but NO. Boris just hung out near on the ceiling while Dave slept a couple of rooms away, with no barriers protecting him. See that white light on his head? That's the flash reflecting in one of his eight eyes. That's right. Boris has the spider equivalent of "red eye." Notice the other normal sized spiders in webs above him?

A couple of days before I arrived, Dave decided that maybe Boris should leave before I, an arachnophobe, arrived. So out came a 5-gallon bucket and a broom. Do you know how fast a spider of this size can jump out of a 5-gallon bucket? Boris then ran under a large pile of broken-up tile, where he remained (supposedly) until I arrived.

The first night I was there, no mention was made of Boris, and I slept in peaceful innocence. The next day while I was beginning to move the tile pile to the dumpster, Dave confessed that there had been a rather large spider in the corner who ran under the pile, but he was sure that the spider had since left the house. I slept less peacefully that night. The third night our older daughter Laura arrived. Boris' name did come up a time or two, and although Dave assured me that the spider was long gone, my arachnoradar was still on high alert. That night when I went to bed, my gaze was drawn to the floor next to my suitcase. There he was, crouching menacingly, a couple of feet from my pillow. I left the room quickly. OK, there was some vocalization, arm flapping, etc. But I was trying to remain calm.

Dave went into the bedroom with a crowbar. Laura and I cringed as we heard "whacka whacka whacka whacka." Dave emerged from the bedroom, his head lowered in failure. Boris managed to go under the sheetrock and up inside the wall. We had removed the floor molding to prime the walls. I thought molding was just decorative. Now I know better.

My reaction was quick and decisive. I got online and began looking for a hotel room, which Dave and Laura felt was a bit extreme. What was my problem? Boris probably wouldn't bite, and would get out some other way. Right.

Not finding any hotel rooms, I thought of sleeping in the car. Instead, they brought the bed out of the bedroom and put it in the living room (Laura's "bedroom"). Laura had this idea that she should set a "trap" consisting of a crumpled up sheet in the bedroom corner where Boris was last seen. Spiders can't resist a crumpled sheet, right? We humored her. After the trap was set, the bedroom door was barricaded shut with duct tape and heavy boxes of tile. It was not a restful night.

The next morning, Dave took down the barricades went into the bedroom. After we heard a little commotion in the bedroom, Dave came out looking very proud of himself. He had killed Boris.

It seems that Laura's trap idea worked! When Dave picked up the sheet, there was Boris. Dave dropped the sheet and jumped on it. Laura forgave him for the arachnocide, thinking that the end was quick.

The next night we put the bed back in the bedroom. As I was getting into bed, a second spider ran across my path. He was only an inch or so long, and was easily disposed of. But I didn't get much rest in my remaining nights in Florida.